I’m going to tell you something that may surprise you. I’ve been thinking about it for several days now, mulling it over, and I think I’m good with it. it’s a decision I would not have been comfortable with even pretty recently. but things change. people change. I have changed. in the words of Sinead O’Connor:
I am not like I was before.
I thought that nothing would change me…
…but now I feel so different.
so this thing? this surprising thing? it has to do with my daily photo project. and I’m writing this in part to work it out for myself, and in part to inform you, dear reader. can you guess what I’m thinking? let me give you a little more backstory. I’m now halfway into my third consecutive year of daily photo-taking. and editing. and posting. prior to that, I did it a couple other times. I know I’m capable. and I know I’m good. I just don’t know that finishing up the current year is indicated.
my previous post touched on how, when my car was stolen, I had to recalibrate my expectations around how much I could accomplish in a day. I had to slow down. and that was good for me. now, similarly, I have a strong sense of the need to take stock of things. and it really feels like, as far as photography goes, I am positively drowning in material. and the more photos I take, day after day, the more I have to wade through. I got behind with my photo editing and posting last month, and have not been able to will myself to get “caught up.” and every day that I continue to take photos for my daily photo project, the more overwhelming it is.
so yes, it’s true: I’m going to stop. for now, anyway. I would like to start selling some of my art, and before that can happen, I will need to get organized. I will need to go through years of images. delete the shite, and keep the goods. I’m excited by the prospect of letting go of this practice, but it’s possible I could end up in a little depression about it. I’ve been doing it for a while, and it has become a source of self-esteem for me. in a way, a crutch. perhaps that’s a little harsh. my point is that I’m looking for a new experience. and while I do believe it’s possible to have a new experience while doing the same ol’ thing, I really think that’ll be easier to achieve if I stop.
I have ideas about maybe doing a weekly photo project, or some similar, lower-impact practice, in order to maintain a structure of some sort, but. that has not yet become clear. more will be revealed.
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